Today was the day of my assessment for suitability for CBT. There are a lot of hoops you have to jump through to get treatment for mental health problems, and it also seems, a lot of waiting. I was diagnosed with depression 11 years ago. CBT has never been suggested, I had to ask for it on my last visit to the doctor. Funny, because according to NICE guidelines, it should be offered for anyone suffering from depression, but then again, they are just guidelines, and gone are the days when doctors told you what was wrong and what to do to make it better…
Anyway, as I said, after a few weeks of waiting, my assessment was today. It was tough. I was asked about the history of my illness, my childhood, relationship with parental units, history of self harm and suicidal thoughts and any recent events that may have triggered my latest episode. It brought up a lot of painful thoughts, and it was hard to admit to having planned your own suicide. But I did it.
I left feeling an enormous sense of achievement (I have been officially referred for CBT), but also feeling very shaken at all the questions that were asked. It was a lot to take on.
I now have to wait up to 4 months for someone to get in touch about the start of my course, but I have a follow up appointment with the lady I saw today, as well as homework for the next appointment. So all in all, it was a good session.
I have to work my way through a book called ‘Mind Over Mood’ which gives information about how CBT works, as well as exercises to work on to basically change the way you react to certain situations.
I am feeling I have made a positive step, and looking forward to the next stage of my life living with depression.
Today was also a good day because I finally got a washing machine (I’ve been without since I moved into my flat 3 months ago!) and my friend came to visit and took me for a lovely lunch. It was lovely to see him and it certainly helped after a pretty traumatic appointment!
I hope everyone has had a good day today. I’m off do do yet another load of washing now 🙂