Long old week

This week has been really tough.

I’m not about to go into a huge amount of detail right at the moment.  It’s 1.10am and I’m not doing so well – the reason I’m actually writing this now.

I had a funeral to go to on monday. Family. Was really hard.  Things kicked in on Wednesday when bi went back to work.  There was 1 person I thought I could rely on. I managed to really piss them off and on Thursday they told me to fuck off – they are ‘tired of my shit’.

I’m not sure what I did.  I really needed a hug from this person more than anything.  I never got it.

I am still trying to figure stuff out about the funeral, and this on top of it is too much to take. I feel so very alone. I think I’ve realised though that the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.  And that’s a hard lesson to learn.