Santa Claus is coming to town!

It’s got to be mentioned, hasn’t it?

Christmas is fast approaching (we’ve been seeing festive stuff in the shops near us since before Halloween).

How are you feeling about it?

I’m totally unprepared, although this weekend we had visitors again and they put up our tree!

We all had so much fun, singing Christmas songs and hanging baubles! The kids went to choose the tree yesterday morning. I’d asked them to make sure they got the best, and I reckon they succeeded!!.

In the evening we watched Elf, and were feeling pretty damned festive!

Even the dinosaurs are feeling festive.

This morning we woke up to snow, so obviously the girls couldn’t wait to get outside!

They threw snowballs and made sort of snowmen and generally had a great time (I have a story about playing in the snow when I was round about their age which involved FARRRRRR too much excitement!).

They were so cute when they came in and sat side by side in front of the fire to warm up and drink some hot chocolate!

Me, I hate snow. I mean, I love love LOVE how it looks. From inside my house. I like to watch it fall, and I love the peculiar light of a snowy evening. But going out in it? Nah. Not for me. There’s something super romantic about snuggling the sofa in front of the fire and watching a good film.

I certainly won’t be repeating my 6 year old self’s snowy escapades…

So Christmas.

I love Christmas.

Well, I love the feeling of Christmas. I like the prettiness of Christmas. I love the SMELL of Christmas!

I detest the commercial aspect of Christmas though.

For the past few years, people have received had made gifts – maybe a hamper or a knitted gift, but they’ve definitely had a lot of heart put into them.

These, for me, are the best kinds of gifts.

Thoughtful gifts.

I hate being ‘forced’ to buy gifts. The best kinds of things come from the heart, and don’t necessarily cost a penny.

Everyone seems to want the ‘best’ or the ‘latest’ or just what’s been forced upon them in the latest advert break.

I hate that attitude.

I think we’ve almost finished our shopping (not including Christmas dinner!), and every gift has been carefully chosen as we are on a pretty tight budget, just like many other people.

Christmas is stressful for so many reasons without having the added pressure of having to get the ‘perfect’ gift.

Some people won’t be having any kind of Christmas, for whatever reason, so I think that people need to start being more grateful for what they do have.

My favourite thing about Christmas is spending time with loved ones.

In my 35 years there are very few Christmases that I have spent apart from my mum.

I love cooking Christmas dinner for my family, but this year we’re saving our Christmas for new year as I have a new ‘family’ – my wonderful partner and we have his 2 girls over the Christmas period too!

How exciting!

I hope they get snow again.

Me, I’ll stay in and cook the dinner and sing some Christmas songs.

I hope you are all coping with the festive period.

Please remember there is always someone to talk to if you are struggling, and of course, you are always welcome to contact me if you’d like.

Take care of yourselves xxx



I have so much to do, but I have an awful headache so I’ve had to retire to my bed. I hate having to take extra medication, but these headaches have returned with a vengeance so all I can do is gobble propranol and keep my head very very still.


Any tips on easing the pain???

Depression – fair game for bullies?

I admit, I don’t spend my Saturday evenings watching I’m a Celebrity, but the show, and in particular, Iain Lee, has been brought to my attention today via Twitter.

I’m sure you will have heard about him by now.

He was the one that cried during last night’s show.

Yes, HE. A man cried on TV.

He took part in one of the challenges (which sounded pretty horrific), and suffered an anxiety attack, meaning he ultimately failed the challenge.

He returned to camp and broke down.

Everyone seemed to show compassion, reassuring Mr Lee, but later Rebekah Vardy (I’m not sure what one of those is) said she didn’t like to see crying as it shows ‘weakness’ and Amir Khan agreed.

Luckily support and words of wisdom came from Georgia Toffolo (apparently a star of Made in Chelsea) who said during a conversation with other members of the camp

Yes, because the stereotypical man doesn’t cry and that’s wrong, that shouldn’t be the case.’

This is exactly the problem.

Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, in fact, I’d say it shows strength that someone is quite prepared to expose that raw emotional side of themselves.

Anyway, Mr Lee has now become the target of Twitter users calling him ‘pathetic’ and poking fun at him.

Because anxiety is so funny, isn’t it?

Depression is a perfect opportunity to call someone crazy, isn’t it?!

Despite what you may or may not think, mental illness of any sort is no reason to abuse someone.

It’s not an opportunity to attempt to push your own twisted agenda.

I can imagine that if I’d been in the same situation as Mr Lee, I’d probably have had a panic attack.

And in case you didn’t known, here are some of the VERY REAL physical symptoms of anxiety –

  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhoea
  • Stomach cramps
  • Fidgeting
  • Headache
  • Hyperventilation
  • Dizziness
  • Tingling in hands
  • Palpitations

Now imagine experiencing just one of these whilst being in a huge tank of water about to attempt a ‘trial’ on a TV show in order to feed your team mates.

Tell me you would be able to do that and not feel emotion.

Mental illness of any sort is no reason to bully and harass someone, whoever they are.

Maybe if people start accepting that it’s ok to show emotion and it’s not any kind of weakness, things will start to change for the better, but as long as names like ‘crazy’ and ‘pathetic’ are being hurled at people struggling daily, morning is going to change at all.

On the physical symptoms of anxiety

Over the past weeks, I have been experiencing tension headaches, panic attacks, sleeplessness and stomach upsets as a result of stress.

I’ve had to start taking propranolol again (something I haven’t touched for many months), as well as a combination of paracetamol & ibuprofen to help alleviate the debilitating headaches that can sometimes last for days.

Earlier this week I had a terrible panic attack, the likes of which I haven’t experienced for years.  It’s a scary place to be, in the grip of a panic attack, and being unable to reason with your body and mind in order to release yourself.

How do you deal with the physical effects of your illness?

Happy Anniversary!

Saturday was the year anniversary of first meeting my partner, so I decided to take him away for the weekend as we both deserved a bit of a break. Our first date was in Ross on Wye, and we’d arranged to meet in a tea room, but unfortunately they were full, so I got in touch with them to make sure they had room for us this year! This was all a surprise for my partner and we were both very taken aback by the warm welcome, private table and candle and rose on the table! We enjoyed a beautiful afternoon tea, with the best scones I have had since my grandma’s! For the second surprise, I’d booked us into a nice hotel and fancy dinner! We spent the evening playing Trivial Persuit (we drew one all!) and enjoyed the beautiful setting in the countryside. What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic at heart! Our ‘first date’ was super and I’m looking forward to many more years with this fool!

Dealing with low self esteem

I don’t necessarily think all of these work for all people, but there are definitely some good coping strategies right here.

I often recommend writing as a sort of therapy (right here is my ‘therapy’), but meditation doesn’t necessarily work for me.

I try to focus on the things I’m good at, and even congratulate myself when I achieve something that’s on my to do list.

This evening I’ve been having a conversation with someone about non med therapies that has been very insightful. I’ll no doubt write about that soon!