Depression – fair game for bullies?

I admit, I don’t spend my Saturday evenings watching I’m a Celebrity, but the show, and in particular, Iain Lee, has been brought to my attention today via Twitter.

I’m sure you will have heard about him by now.

He was the one that cried during last night’s show.

Yes, HE. A man cried on TV.

He took part in one of the challenges (which sounded pretty horrific), and suffered an anxiety attack, meaning he ultimately failed the challenge.

He returned to camp and broke down.

Everyone seemed to show compassion, reassuring Mr Lee, but later Rebekah Vardy (I’m not sure what one of those is) said she didn’t like to see crying as it shows ‘weakness’ and Amir Khan agreed.

Luckily support and words of wisdom came from Georgia Toffolo (apparently a star of Made in Chelsea) who said during a conversation with other members of the camp

Yes, because the stereotypical man doesn’t cry and that’s wrong, that shouldn’t be the case.’

This is exactly the problem.

Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, in fact, I’d say it shows strength that someone is quite prepared to expose that raw emotional side of themselves.

Anyway, Mr Lee has now become the target of Twitter users calling him ‘pathetic’ and poking fun at him.

Because anxiety is so funny, isn’t it?

Depression is a perfect opportunity to call someone crazy, isn’t it?!

Despite what you may or may not think, mental illness of any sort is no reason to abuse someone.

It’s not an opportunity to attempt to push your own twisted agenda.

I can imagine that if I’d been in the same situation as Mr Lee, I’d probably have had a panic attack.

And in case you didn’t known, here are some of the VERY REAL physical symptoms of anxiety –

  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhoea
  • Stomach cramps
  • Fidgeting
  • Headache
  • Hyperventilation
  • Dizziness
  • Tingling in hands
  • Palpitations

Now imagine experiencing just one of these whilst being in a huge tank of water about to attempt a ‘trial’ on a TV show in order to feed your team mates.

Tell me you would be able to do that and not feel emotion.

Mental illness of any sort is no reason to bully and harass someone, whoever they are.

Maybe if people start accepting that it’s ok to show emotion and it’s not any kind of weakness, things will start to change for the better, but as long as names like ‘crazy’ and ‘pathetic’ are being hurled at people struggling daily, morning is going to change at all.



So, it’s 4am, and I’ve not yet slept.  Hurrah for insomnia!

I’m no stranger to this stupid fucked up sleep cycle, I’ve been living with it for years, but I’ll never get over the fact that 4am is so utterly boring!

I’ve been looking at recipes.  Mainly healthy ones.  It can never hurt to try to eat healthier, can it?

I’ve been browsing the Shitty Watercolour Facebook page.

Listened to another episode of Paul Temple.

My brain isn’t ready to switch off.

A million and one things are racing round my head.  I wonder how they all fit in there.

Just had a mug of hot chocolate, but now I feel sick.

I should probably go back to bed as I have important things to do tomorrow.

It’s too late to take a zopiclone, as I won’t be up before lunchtime if I do that now, and if I was to be, I’d have the mother of all hangovers from it.

I kind of hope that spilling here will allow me to get at least a couple of hours sleep.

I wish I could put my finger on one particular thing that’s bothering me right at this moment, but I guess it’s a culmination of things.  So many things in this old brain.

I applied to go back to uni, so I’m on pins and needles waiting to hear about that.  I’d love to be able to finish my Film Studies course, but unfortunately, it’s not as simple as it may seem.

I’m totally lacking motivation to do anything at the moment, so that’s making me feel guilty.  I enjoyed the sun the other day though, and went for a nice walk.  Baby steps.

I wish people would mind their own sodding business, and focus on their own lives rather than trying to ruin other peoples.  Makes me think of the old ‘people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’.

I’m worried about this whole election business.  Still no one seems to know what Brexit is, and whilst the media are talking about Diane Abbot getting muddled up in an interview, the government are pushing through some very worrying policies that will affect our young people.

One of my cats has been more clingly than usual since she was spayed the other week, and I don’t know if I should be concerned about that or not.

I feel terribly guilty for not making more effort to see people this past goodness knows how many months.  I currently don’t have a car, so I’m feeling somewhat isolated.  I liked being able to just go out for a drive sometimes, particularly if the weather was nice.  Just go and see places.

I don’t have a light summer jacket.  I have cardigans and winter coats, but nothing really in between, so I was thinking of making the ‘bomber jacket’ from Gerties  ‘Gertie Sews Vintage Casual: A Modern Guide to Sportswear Styles of the 1940s and 1950s’ (seriously, something I’ve been thinking about whilst unable to sleep!).

There was something about shoes too, but that’s not in my brain any more.

I worry a lot.  I think too much.

I need to sleep.  It’s now almost 5am.  Fingers crossed for the sandman.





My word on ‘Sachagate’

Addendum 06/07/2015 – The official cease and desist letter was sent today to 4 people, giving them 7 days to remove all comments made about me, and to publish a public apology.   I’ve made it clear that should the cease and desist be ignored, I will be taking legal action against them.

Bullying is not something that people should be able to get away with, making other people’s lives hell isn’t a show of how big or clever you are, it’s simply pathetic.

Addendum 2 – 10/07/2015 – if you have a read of the comments, Ginny has kindly told me to stick my cease and desist ‘where the sun doesn’t shine’ and that she was ‘enjoying a drink with my partner in the back bar of said pub. I witnessed the altercation about the dog.'[sic].  The ‘altercation’ took place in the front bar, and if she was present, she would also have seen me bring the dog into the pub and sit by the fire with her.

I’m not sure how anyone’s moral compass would say it is ok to make defamatory comments about someone all over the internet, to post threatening messages, and to still be making such comments over 6 months after the event, because a dog was left, quite comfortably in a car, for a short period of time.  And especially after (if indeed they were in fact present), they witnessed the animal be brought inside!

I will never figure people out.  I asked for an apology, but that is apparently beyond these people.  So be it.

This is a pretty serious post today.  To clear up one or two (or a billion) assumptions people I have not met, nor will likely ever meet, but it is a very serious situation that I feel I need to make comment on.

I used to have a dog.  She was beautiful, so full of love, and a real joy to be with.  She was a rescue dog.  She’d had a hard life before she came to me, and I loved her with all my heart.

She was a very anxious little thing, and didn’t like being left alone, so I took here with me wherever it was possible.  This included taking her to work, leaving her in my car, and going out every hour to check on her and give her a little walk and plenty of cuddles.  She was very possessive, and would follow me around everywhere, which meant that I was unable to take her into work with me, so we compromised.

One evening when I was at work (I think it was in January – so yes, it was cold – I left her in my car as usual.  She had a counterpane (look it up – it’s a huge blanket), a crochet blanket, a pure wool car rug, her large bed in the boot (one half of the seat was pulled down so she had access to the whole car), food and water, plus her fur.

As usual, I went out regularly to make sure she was ok, check her food & water, re-make her bed, and give her plenty of fusses.

Then along came (names changed) Gothel and Elphaba, two people I had never met before in my life.

Gothel & Elphaba were drunk (they fail to mention this – this bit will make sense later), as was the done thing in the small town I was living in at the time (there was little else to do), and decided that my dog had been in the car ‘for hours’ and was ‘freezing’.  They came into my work (as is the done thing when drunk people want more drinks – it was a pub, after all), and were immediately aggressive (they fail to mention this), telling me I was awful for leaving me dog in the car in ‘below freezing temepratures’ for ‘hours’ and demanded I bring her in.

For an easy life, I brought her in.  It really wasn’t worth arguing with them, due to their mood.  I’d attempted to tell them she hadn’t been in the car for ‘hours’ (and how would they know how long she’d been there if they’d only just turned up anyway?).  So my little dog was brought in, sat on one of her (three) blankets in front of the fire, and given some pork scratchings (again, this is not mentioned).

The women left, but as they walked by the window, one of them made a threatening gesture towards me.  Neither of them had even acknowledged the dog being sat in the pub in front of the fire.

Later on that evening, after I had finished my shift, I had a look on good old Facebook, and saw that Gothel had taken to a page I was a member of to tell everyone what a vile and horrible creature I was for being mean to my dog.

Now, let me point out again, they have never met me, nor my dog, so how they could comment at all is beyond me, but that is merely one of my bugbears here.

The tirade spread, with many people joining in the rant against me, some saying they should ‘rescue’ my dog by smashing the windows (the police wouldn’t care because of the dog you see), they should report me to the RSPCA, I should be locked in my car overnight in the cold and even threats of violence against me.

The logic here (I assume), is that because they are ‘defending’ a poor animal, that makes them morally right to take to facebook to say exceptionally hurtful (not to mention untrue and inaccurate) things about me, someone they have never met.

Many people joined in the abuse, with not one person asking me what had happened, they all went on what Gothel and Elphaba said.  I didn’t join in the rant, as I felt this would be counter-productive, however, from then on, I made sure I parked my car under the CCTV, and was genuinely worried I may bump into one of these people whilst out (it was a very small town).

Thankfully, nothing happened to me, my property, or my dog before I left the town.

However, months later, people are still talking about me as the ‘vile woman who left her dog in the car overnight in below freezing temperatures’.  You may be thinking ‘hang on a minute, you said for a few hours’, which is correct, it wasn’t overnight, but this is just yet another thing that Gothel and Elphaba missed out of their account of the night.

The furor eventually died down, with Gothel blocking me on Facebook so I could no longer see her rants against me.  Fine, not my problem.  I actually thought it quite funny that this was apparently the biggest drama the town had ever seen.  I moved away from the town for reasons not linked with this drama, but to do with my life moving on, my tenancy ending, and other personal thing I’m not going to go into at the moment.

Months later, Ginny (name changed), who lives in that small town, who I have never met or spoken to (but claims to ‘know me’ – creepy) posts that I was ‘run out of town’ because of how I treated my dog.  I sent a polite message to this person, explaining that I wasn’t ‘run out of town’ and that they should check their facts before making accusations.  Hopefully this was the end of it – they never replied.

Weeks after this, however, when someone who again, I have never met and lives miles away, says to me ‘have you left your dogs in the car in this weather?’ (note it has now gone from 1 dog to ‘dogs’), I feel I now need to take action.  Apparently I have ‘quite a name for myself’.

Gothel and Elphaba have managed to get me a reputation as someone that is cruel to animals, when in fact (anyone who knows me will attest to this) I am the complete opposite.  If Gothel, Elphaba and Ginny actually knew me, they would tell you how I’ve volunteered at animal rescue sanctuaries, how all the animals I’ve ever owned have been rescues, and what bloody spoiled lives they lead.  But the thing is, they don’t know me, so they can’t tell you this.  They’d maybe tell you about the rant I had at the man I saw kick and shout at his dog (I didn’t take to Facebook to do it, I did it in the street, to him directly).

So what is the point of this post?

Well, firstly, as not one person has decided to come to me to ask about this, and instead taken to social media to rant and rave and post defamatory remarks about me, I thought I deserved to have my say, as I have been quite quiet on the matter on public forums, thinking it was a storm in a teacup.

Alas, this was not the case, as was proved today.

So this is my cease and desist, I suppose.

I ask that Gothel, Elphaba, Ginny, and anyone else who has posted dafamtory remarks about me regarding the care of my animals, immediately removes them, and refrains from posting any further comments.

I’d also like to ask that they publicly apologise, and state the fact that they were, in fact, very wrong in the things they have said about me.

I have made sure I have screen shots of all these posts, and should the matter continue, they will be taken to the police and I will be looking at filing a claim for defamation.  This includes the original posts, and things she wrote on her own page at the time plus comments made on posts I have made.

Should anyone who thinks I am this person they say I am, feel free to comment here with any questions you may have about the matter, I am more than happy to talk about this, as I was at the time, it’s just that no one bothered to ask.

I do hope that this will end the matter once and for all.

The things that have been said about me have been exceptionally hurtful, and not to mention exceptionally damaging.  I have been made to fear for my safety and that of my property.  All because of some drunk rant on Facebook.  You may think it’s ok because it’s just Facebook, but if that’s the case, how are people I will never ever meet making comments months after the original post?  Why are you still bringing it up? Was it really the most excitement you have ever had?  Is my life really that interesting? (the correct answer is definitely not…).

N.B. – Yes I was aware of the names I chose.